Friday, June 05, 2015
Why Do We Have To Keep Doing This?
Yesterday was meds day for Thomas and I went up there with him thinking all would go smoothly since Thomas seems to be doing well. I wanted to talk to Dr. N. about his weight gain but as his mom, that was the only "complaint" I had apart from the cognitive symptoms which we all know there is no meds for. As usual Thomas went in by himself and I waited in the waiting room.
It wasn't long until Dr. N. came out and asked for me to come in and I sat down and was blindsided by the announcement that he was thinking of changing both of Thomas's antipsychotics (Clozaril and Latuda).
It turns out that Thomas has been salivating a lot more at night since the increase in clozaril and he isn't happy with that side effect. I get that. I'd hate that too. Apparently, however, that was grounds for completely changing meds.
Aren't there any other solutions besides that?
I wouldn't be me if I didn't express my dismay about that prospect and Dr. N. kind of slowed down his thinking about that. I told him that when we were changing Thomas's meds last time, it was excruciating for both Thomas and for me as his mom watching the whole thing happen. I told him that I didn't understand why, now that Thomas is doing better, we should do anything with his meds. We go through this a lot with Dr. N.. Part of me wonders what exactly his motivation is. I wonder if he's being wooed by drug companies to get his patients on their drugs but then I also know he doesn't like it when someone is on so many pills. Either way, it's no excuse for changing meds that work, in my mind anyway.
He suggested 3 different meds two of which I remember which are Fanapt and Invega. I know people on Invega but this Fanapt I know nothing about. What would be in store for Thomas with these new meds? Needless to say, I argued with Dr. N. (nicely, of course) that I didn't see any reason for ruining Thomas's stability and he told me that he would think about what he wanted to do. Thomas is on board with changing his meds but his main motivation is to stop the nightly salivating.
Dr. N. did finally decide to prescribe something for the salivating so we're going to give that a try, I guess, for a while. I don't know what that'll bring in terms of side effects though. He also ended the session by telling us that he was going to give a lot of thought to how he could change Thomas's meds in a cautious way to minimize any relapse.
But no thank you. Not if it's up to me.
Which it isn't, of course.
I left the session though asking,
"Why do we have to keep doing this?"
I want to scream sometimes.
Needless to say, I had a talk with Thomas on the way home and I told him that he didn't remember the last time we changed meds. I told him that it was excruciating to watch and for him to go through. I didn't tell him this but I remember seriously considering having him hospitalized so that they could get him stable on meds faster. I didn't want to have to send him away but right before my eyes he was falling apart and it was killing me!
We will see what happens in the next couple of weeks. Thomas's next appointment with Dr. N. comes up then and we'll see what he's decided. If Thomas decides to go ahead with the change in meds, I'm going to have to go along with it and I'll be the one picking up the pieces. I really love Thomas's bright eyes lately, I would miss them.
Written by Melanie Jimenez
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