Monday, June 08, 2015

From The Death of a Delusion To A New life

(Picture Credit: messiahhistory.wordpress.com)


I've got to start this by saying that Thomas has been doing really good for the most part. He still struggles with cognitive issues but I know those will be around for a while, if not forever, and we are left with working on those day by day. Thomas is making a real effort to beat them by doing things that challenge him but he still struggles with a few things. I've got to say, though, if that's the worst that we have to deal with then we aren't doing so badly.

What I wanted to write about today was some news from Thomas that Dr. K. and I received in therapy last week. With Thomas's paranoia down to a 1 out of 10 and other facets of the illness either non-existent or very low, Dr. K. asked Thomas about what his goals might be for his future. We're back to that.

Thank goodness.

Finally we can look to the future again and make some tentative plans. Dr. K. went through some possible ideas for Thomas and as usual came back to taking a college course. This is where, for ages, I have cringed because one of Thomas's prominent delusions was to be a revolutionary and he was wanting to back that with an education in political science. Back then I had visions of Thomas going to college, getting wrapped up with people that weren't good for him, who reinforced his delusions and who didn't understand how sick he was. Part of me almost wished he would never go to college just because of how entrenched his delusions about being a revolutionary were. In therapy on Thursday, all of that changed. When Dr. K. asked Thomas if he still wanted to take a political science class Thomas announced that he'd rather take a history class. Both Dr. K. and I were taken aback. This was new information.

A history class?

Why?

As it turns out, Thomas says he now wants to be a historian.

How cool is that?

There's no better thing, in my opinion, for Thomas to pursue because it's all about learning about history and getting a general education and not about reinforcing a delusion. Well, at least I'm not aware that he's reinforcing a delusion right now by taking history classes. One never knows though. As it is, though, I'm taking it completely at face value and embracing this new interest.

With college history courses on the table now and an upward trend in decreasing schizophrenia symptoms, I really can't ask for anything better right now. To me, it's almost like this round of stability sneaked up on me. It's probably been going on for a while but I have been away from the house so much lately that it's probably been around for a while. I made a decision a few weeks ago to start to focus on my own life a little bit more and as such I have left Thomas to build a little bit of a life of his own. It's been good for him to spend so much time alone, as far as I can tell, and it's been good for me to see what it's like to have a life again.

It's summer now, the sun is out every day and we are seeing new life. The best thing has been the death of a long held delusion and the beginning of a new life for both Thomas and I which includes, for him, a new found interest in something healthy for his mind. This time I'm not even going to worry about what might go wrong, at least not like I used to, and I'm going to enjoy this new life for both Thomas and I.

Now, if only we can keep Dr. N. from encouraging a drastic change in medications, we'll stay on the right track for a while.

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