Tuesday, May 05, 2015
It's Time To Get Serious
Well....the appointment with Dr. N. went well yesterday. I'll admit I was a bit checked out of it having just come from my own session with my psychiatrist and spending the whole time crying about my dad. What I couldn't avoid, though, was the announcement by Dr. N. that Thomas has gained 35 pounds since they last weighed him.
Like I said before, I had noticed lately that he was gaining but I didn't know that it was that much all total. I am so sad now. Dr. N. talked about it being caused by the meds and even said that we may have to switch meds. Can you imagine? Really? We're going to switch off of the meds that are helping him pretty decently right now? Granted he wasn't saying he was going to do that right away but he threw that out there and it scared me. What he did say, though, was that Thomas needs to go on a diet.
Ever since his primary care provider told him he'd gained 12 pounds he has started to struggle with coming to terms with changing his eating. Like most young people he eats all the time and now does it more when I'm gone from the house but then, when I get back, feels the need to confess to me that he ate something. That's just what it is, a confession. It's not a casual statement about having eaten something, he actually acts embarrassed and ashamed. I don't want this for him! I don't want to be the person that he feels he has to confess to. That puts me in a horrible position because, at least for me, when I feel like I have to confess to doing something, the person I confess to kind of becomes my keeper and I kind of don't like them very much. I don't want to be Thomas's keeper. I just want him to learn to manage his appetite and make better choices for himself when he does go to snack.
He came to me the other day holding the button from a pair of jeans and he said that it popped off. This is the second one lately. What I don't get and never have gotten about Thomas is that he will endure something, like wearing jeans that are too tight for him, and he won't complain even a little bit. He'll just sit there with the waist band cutting into his belly and he'll take it. It's so sad. So yesterday I told him that we were going to go shopping and get him some new pants that fit. He's so used to jeans that loosely hang off of his waist and now all of them are skin tight on him. I want for him to feel them hanging off of him again.
Dr. N. talked about Thomas going on a high protein, low carb diet. That'll be a real trick. I'm currently trying to do the same thing for myself and it isn't easy!! I've got a handle on it for the most part but it's taken a lot of work and a lot of resolve. Teaching Thomas those skills is going to be hard. It'll mean reading labels and looking for the healthy stuff like low calories and carbs and high fiber. It's hard enough to teach him how to cook a meal or do laundry, this isn't going to be easy trying to get him to change his whole lifestyle.
I'll admit something though. Part of my sadness is about me. It's about me in that as his mom, I don't want to be the one to deny him the things he loves. I have always made it my mission to make sure he gets the right amount of fruits and veggies and from there I have let him do his own thing as far as snacking goes but now I'm going to have to replace his pretzels and crackers and junk food with apples and beef jerky (That's my solution for the time being. That and turkey sandwiches on high fiber bread). That isn't going to be any fun for him and it's going to make me sad that he's at the point that he has to watch what he eats closely. I'm 43 and I've been at it for a while and I hate practically every day of it so imagine what it's going to do for a youngster in the prime of his life.
So, today we start to get serious. I'm going to get him out walking again and I'm going to make a sandwich and cut up an apple for him and put it in the fridge so he can grab it when he feels like he needs something to eat. The problem is, his appetite is insatiable right now so it's going to take a lot for him to learn to stop listening to his growling stomach, treat it like an adversary, and try to push through until it's time for a proper meal.
Written by Melanie Jimenez
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