Yesterday was definitely touch and go for Thomas. With his plans to go to the Airsoft war being the thing that he believed would get him through his night at work, when it fell through things got a little rough.
After receiving the news that the Airsoft war had been cancelled due to bad weather, Thomas came to me shaking and pale. I took a deep breath and tried to figure out what to do for him. His plan to go had been his magical formula for getting through a potentially rough night at work and without it he was flying blind. After coming out and telling me that it had been cancelled and after retreating to his room to watch YouTube videos I sat down and felt horrible for him. Within less than an hour he was out of his room and standing beside me wide-eyed and telling me he was having anxiety and paranoia about work. I told him to take a lorazepam to head this thing off before it got too bad and he went into the kitchen and took one. He disappeared back into his room after that.
A little later on, I checked in with him and he said he was doing better. I was so thankful! Perhaps we had beat this thing! Then as the afternoon wore on, things went south a little bit.
At 2:30 he came to me and asked me to fix his dinner. Bear in mind that I usually start cooking at 3:30 so he was early in requesting dinner. I asked him if he was worried about being late to work, hence the early dinner, but it wasn't that. I told him to wait until a little later and then I would put something together for him.
After dinner and as he headed off to work, he told me that he was having some paranoia and I reminded him of what I had told him the day before:
"The beauty of America is that we are allowed to believe whatever we want to. Some people believe in God and some don't. Nobody has trouble with that. We are also allowed to have any political affiliation. There are Democrats and Republicans and sometimes on the voting ballots there are others like Communists and Socialists. We are allowed to vote for who we want and those people are allowed to run for office under any political affiliation that they are. If you are worried about being imprisoned for your political beliefs, you need to remember what I've said. Often the only reason you hear about people being imprisoned for their beliefs is because they are making a lot of noise like protesting. Unfortunately some protesters get arrested but they are never detained for long. It's the way you go about it that gets you in trouble. When protests become violent and people get hurt then the arrests start. Thomas, you are not making any noise. You have joined groups on Facebook that are in line with your political beliefs and you are quiet in them. You are a young man that works at a big box store and you are minding your own business. What you believe, the political affiliations that you have, are of no concern to the people around you nor are they a concern to the government. You're fine. Everything's going to be okay."
I gave him a shortened version of that speech again yesterday and he was unconvinced but I promised him that I was right about this. He headed off to work and I waited for the call.
It never came.
When I went to pick him up from work he told me that he had a good night and that there hadn't been any crowds in the store. Thank God. With the big Airsoft war being cancelled and all of the anxiety leading up to work, I wasn't sure he was going to make it through the night.
As it stands this morning, Thomas is up right now (hours before he's normally up) and he says all of his close friends have decided to have an Airsoft war here in town. It's not the big event that he had planned on but at least they're doing something. The weather isn't supposed to be great but hopefully they'll play through it and have fun. He's gathered all of his gear together and sits here in the living room eating breakfast and is excited for the day.
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