(photo credit: 123rf.com)
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays (of all kinds) to all of you!
I know that this is a tough time of year for some of you and I know things aren't going the way that you had hoped they would by this time of year but I want you to know that you aren't alone. There are many of you out there dealing with the same things and while you feel like you are the only one in the world right now, you aren't and you must keep your hope alive.
For those of you, like myself and Thomas, who are doing relatively well, I want to share in your joy with you and in this moment of peace where we can take a deep breath and relax for today. I know that it's been a long time since I have written and I have missed out on telling you so many stories about Thomas and how he's doing but life has been.....difficult.....for myself. It's no secret, if you've read past posts recently, that I am struggling personally with some things, and unfortunately those things continue to haunt me. However, for today, for this day of hoped for peace, my mind and heart are at rest and I am ready to start the day with my family.
It is 6:30 a.m. here and I am typing this by the light of a warm fire, several candles, and of course my beautiful tree.
Nobody is up with me right now and I am quite content to quietly sit here and write this post and enjoy the peace that surrounds me.
As you can see by the picture, there is a filled stocking hanging from the fireplace screen. That stocking belongs to Thomas. I tried to have several talks with him about how he's now 21 and as a person becomes an adult, presents at Christmas slow down, but essentially that was met with silence. Of course, me being me, and me still being a kid at heart wishing Santa would bring me what I wish for, as you can see by the picture, there are presents under the tree from "Santa" and his stocking is filled with a few things too.
I couldn't resist.
The fact of the matter is, in many ways, Thomas is still a child. His wonderment in this season is innocent and awestruck and so very grateful. I have had to often stop myself during the last couple of weeks and appreciate Thomas for this side of him that still hangs onto child-like appreciation of the season. This year, I personally didn't even want to put up a Christmas tree and I tried to wrangle my way out of doing so, but Thomas insisted, and I can't deny him that just because I'm a Grinch, so I let him have complete control with the design of the tree. He chose blue and white for the colors and even this Grinch has come to love the last couple of weeks with the tree up and lit.
I could write forever sitting here in my most peaceful place I have been in in a long time but I know you have families and festivities to get to so I won't hold you up with any more to read. More than anything, I really really just wanted to tell you all
I know if Thomas were awake right now he would say the same things to you all.
Have a beautiful day everyone, as much as is possible, and I will be back in the New Year to write again.
Much love to you all,
Melanie & Thomas