Saturday, November 22, 2014

An Amazing Gift For Thomas and Myself

I've been thinking a lot over the last 12 or so hours about whether or not to share what I'm about to share. I decided that I had to because what happened showed a beautiful side of Dr. K. and what he did made all of the difference in the world to me but mostly to Thomas.

Yesterday I emailed Dr. K. and I told him that I write this blog. Quite honestly I thought he had found it long ago and had been following it here and there. I found out that wasn't the case at all. My email, though, contained a link to my website where Thomas's post from yesterday is at. I told Dr. K. that Thomas had been looking for purpose and I had given him options of things to do to help me out with all of my different projects related to schizophrenia. I told him that Thomas had chosen, of his own free will, to begin to write a guest post every Friday for my blog. I explained how Thomas had given me his blessing long ago to write this blog and also that Thomas had come out of his shell writing for and responding to all of you, my followers and now Thomas's too. I didn't know what to expect from sending that email because I know Dr. K. has a vested interest in Thomas's mental health but what came back to me was a response that was better than anything I could have imagined.

He actually went and read Thomas's post and returned to his email to write this for Thomas:

"What a great idea my hat goes off to you and please pat Tom on the back for me for all those people he is helping understand his condition and others with similar difficulties. Let them know that he should be very proud of himself and that I am."

That's simply beautiful, right? I mean, for a therapist to say such wonderful things about Thomas and about my project is pretty cool. I know that it meant the world to me and Thomas was equally proud to have received such a wonderful message from the man he looks up to and relies on for help to get through his illness.

Then, it got better. Not long after the email I got a message that my website had received a comment on Thomas's post and I was excited to go see what "anonymous" had to say about it. I am loving everyone's responses to Thomas because I know they are doing him a world of good to have the feedback that all of you have left for him.

(As a side note, he is replying to your questions so be sure to go back to the post and see if your comment was replied to. Remember that he 'likes' each one as he reads them and every one of them makes him smile and makes him want to help. Thank you for what you're doing for him.)

So, here was "anonymous'" feedback:

"Tom,
I appreciate your honesty, bravery, courage and willingness to help others along their journey and struggles. My hat goes off to you and you are an inspiration to others who as well are struggling but you are helping them find hope along the way. Wonderful column, hopefully you'll keep it up-Kevin K"

THAT was Thomas's therapist. THAT was Dr. K. taking the time to publicly write such a lovely response to Thomas's post encouraging him and thanking him for his gift to others.

THAT was simply BEAUTIFUL. It also, to me, was unprecedented. For a therapist to reach out in such a manner, to me, is a rare occurrence. I'm not sure how common it is out there in the world but in my experience it never happens.

So you see, this man cares. He cares a lot. For as much as I sometimes write about how I feel about how he's handled things in therapy, I still feel like he's doing a phenomenal job and merely learns, just as I do, along the way, about Thomas and what makes him tick. He's not going to be perfect, but who is? And still you can count on me in the future to voice my opinions about what happens in Thomas's therapy because in some ways, well really in a lot of ways, I know Thomas better since I spend my entire life with him and I am a mom who protects her son from anything that isn't the thing that I feel is right for him. In the end though, what matters where Dr. K. is concerned, he absolutely had the BEST of intentions with his treatment choices for Thomas and I respect and like the guy for all that he has done for Thomas for the 7 years that he has been with us on our journey.

Now, to his critics (one of two of you the other day) who said he handled the session about Thomas's demon delusion and his violent thoughts attached to it, poorly, let me say this. Our session this last Thursday went better. All of the things that had not been covered the first time were covered this time. He made clear to Thomas the ramifications of his behavior were he to act on these (now called) "urges to harm". He brought up that if he hurts someone he could end up in jail saving me from having that difficult talk with Thomas myself. He also made Thomas aware that his ANGRY,SCARY LOOK that he gives me makes me feel threatened and that kind of thing JUST CAN'T HAPPEN. He handled everything on this subject matter beautifully and topped it with asking Thomas if it was okay for me to join his therapy for a little while to work through this. Dr. K. has my safety in mind and he is protecting me as well as others. There is nothing more admirable than that as far as I am concerned. Ensuring the safety of those in danger is integral to Thomas's therapeutic process. In the end I couldn't have asked for a better session for both Thomas and I.

Afterwards, and most heartbreaking of all, as we walked across the parking lot, Thomas and I, he said to me:

"Mom I'm sorry that I scare you."

Oh...ouch...my heart...my being...

That it has come to a point that my sweet boy has to apologize to me for scaring me is a sad thing, a good thing too, but a sad thing. This is a young man who loves early summer when the doves are nesting in our yard and he stands below their nests staring up at them lovingly. He has a beautiful heart, he doesn't hurt a fly (well, a spider is a different story altogether LOL) and IF he were to act out in anger, at least in my house he will receive the benefit of the doubt and will be placed in the hospital but will be loved beyond measure. Perhaps that will never happen, perhaps therapy will rid Thomas of this demon delusion and my safety and the safety of others will never be called into question.

The thing about all of this, everything that I have written today, Thomas, and me by extension, are in good hands with Dr. K. He cares about my boy and in the end, no matter the flaws that come to light about him, what matters most is that he cares and he has the absolute best of intentions.

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