Thursday, October 16, 2014

Back To Life, Back To Reality

Here I am back sitting at my computer in my home instead of sitting in a chair next to floor to ceiling windows looking out over the city using my phone to type my blog posts. It's crazy how in the matter of a few hours drive, everything changes and sadly everything goes back to normal.

Our last hours in the city were spent allowing me to buy some clothes. I live in a small town so I wanted to find some things that no one else in town will be wearing. Unfortunately for Thomas this was the LAST place he wanted to be is caught in the middle of a 5 story department store. I watched his mood from the previous days nosedive and I hated it. By 2 we were in the car and headed home.
As we drove I'd turn around and peek at Thomas. He sat there staring out the window and watching the scenery go by. I imagine that he was probably feeling like he was watching all of his fun disappear. In the past his therapist and I have worked with him on holding on to good memories. We discovered that when Thomas has rough times, he doesn't draw on good memories to kind of pump himself up. He just wallows in misery. So, my plan is, to remind him as much as I can about the fun we had and the places and things we saw and did.

Still, as we got home and got settled, Thomas plunked down on the couch and didn't move. By 9 he was sitting there banging his head backwards against the couch. I watched him for a little bit then asked him if he was okay. He said he was and he stopped banging his head but within minutes he was right back to doing it. I have no idea what was going on with him.

I already miss the young man I spent 3 days with in a city far from home, doing things that we never get to do, and enjoying practically every minute. I expect a drop in mood over the next few days and I am sad about that. It did just now occur to me that he has therapy today so maybe I can go in with him and bring up the idea of the two of them working on Thomas holding on to the good times when things get difficult.

I just want him happy. I want to hold on to that "boy in the city" forever and ever and never let him go. We'll see what reality brings him today.

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