Sunday, September 28, 2014

On The Battlefield, Almost Lost The War

Again I don't normally blog on Sunday's but since so many of you have been following Thomas's struggles lately, I thought I'd better give you an update on the showering thing.

I went for my usual morning walk yesterday and I left a note for Thomas like I always do. In it, this time, I also wrote:

"And don't forget that today is a shower day, especially since you work tonight."

I thought the way I put it would prompt him to shower.

It didn't.

I came back from my walk and a rather angry Thomas came out of his room and said,

"You're not going to like what I'm about to say."

Uh oh. Now what? I thought to myself.

"With narrowed eyes he said,

"I'm still only going to shower every 4 days."

I closed my eyes shook my head and said,

"Okay, it's your life. I can't control what you do."

And I walked away fuming.

It was hard to decide what I was more mad at. His attitude? Or the fact that he wasn't going to change his patterns. I let it go though and he went to take the dog for a walk. Then the light bulb went off. We had just watched one of his favorite shows the other night called "The Big Bang Theory" and something happened on the show and I thought it was the PERFECT illustration I needed to get my point across to Thomas about how the world views him. I asked him to come talk to me and I said this,

"Remember 'Big Bang Theory' the other night and how Sheldon was stuck in the train station and he had no pants on and his hair was sticking up and he looked like hell? Remember how everyone he approached looked at him with frightened eyes, gathered all of their things, and ran away from him, afraid, thinking he was crazy? Remember how he looked? Well Thomas, THAT is how people look at you when you haven't showered and your hair is greasy and it's sticking up everywhere. They may not run away like in the show but they will look at you like you have a problem. They aren't going to want anything to do with you."

Perhaps some of you might think this is harsh but after him angrily informing me that he wasn't going to honor our deal, I was mad and I needed something to get my point across to him and that show was the perfect way. Of course it was received with silence so I rolled my eyes and went back to what I was doing.

Then this morning happened. Thomas had an early meeting at work and Dan woke up and while he was brushing his teeth and washing his face, Thomas came out of his room. Dan asked him to give him a chance to finish up and afterwards Thomas disappeared into the bathroom. After a while Dan began to wonder what was taking him so long in the bathroom and he went and stood outside the bathroom to ask if he was okay and lo and behold, Thomas was showering!!!

What the heck????

I'm not sure what's in play here be it the conversation we had yesterday or the fact that he's going to an important meeting this morning but whatever it is, I will count it as a small victory for now. I don't know what'll happen next but I'm going to hope that this will stick. He sees Dr. N. on Tuesday and you just know he's going to shower for that because God forbid the doctors see him at his worst, which he spends obviously most of his days, but I will be bringing it up to Dr. N. nonetheless.

So, there it is. My sly little unassuming note didn't work but maybe my story did or even if it's just that he knew he had an important meeting at work this morning and wanted to look his best for it, all of it is good and for now I can step off the battlefield and wait for what comes next.

I'm still in shock.

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