Friday, September 19, 2014

Living His Life The Exact. Right. Way.

Yesterday was Thomas's therapy session and I got called in again. After yesterday I'm back feeling like Dr. K. and I tag team Thomas and in a way rip him to shreds. I will tell you right now that Thomas told me yesterday that he doesn't feel like that is what is happening but as his mom and as someone who's been through tough therapy at times in my life, I feel like these sessions are kind of.......mean(?).

A really good sign, a sign that Dr. K. thinks Thomas is doing well as far as positive symptoms go, he didn't make Thomas rate all of his symptoms on that 1 to 10 scale. Perhaps, though, that was because we opened the session with talking about Thomas's newfound inability to sit still. This started Wednesday and has stuck around. This answers the question of why Thomas has been out of his room a lot in the last couple days. He tells me that when he sits at his computer to play a game or something, he has the urge to stand up and walk around. Apparently on Wednesday when his dad and I were out running errands all day, he spent a good part of it just walking around the house. Poor kid. A good solution to it that helps him for a couple of hours is that I have started a weight loss program for myself and I have so get in 10,000+ steps a day so outside of my own exercise I do, I recruit Thomas to walk 1.2 miles with me in the middle of the day. If it weren't so hot here right now I really think he'd like it more but at least it helps him.

Then, in therapy, we got back to Thomas's regimental way he makes his breakfast and the anxiety around it. Dr. K. asked several more questions throwing down scenarios for Thomas to think about and say what he would do in those situations and finally Dr. K. says,

"You know Thomas, you have O.C.D."

So there it is, we are now slapping another diagnosis on Thomas. The O.C.D. has come up in the past but had gotten sidelined for all of the schizophrenia stuff. But here we are again and here is that diagnosis again. So this is where the "mean" part of the session went on. Throwing down all of those scenarios pretty much showed that Thomas's way of living is "maladaptive." I put it in quotes because I will confess that I have a little O.C.D. myself and I don't ever see it as a problem. It's just the way I live my life. As such, I see that Thomas just lives his life much the way I do. Sure, some of the things are a little bit much like he couldn't put a sock in his underwear drawer and leave it there without going crazy knowing it's there but c'mon, what is it hurting to want to keep your drawers organized? That's not the only example but you get the idea. In questioning Thomas and asking him to problem solve ways to change those patterns, I felt like we were attacking him. Between Dr. K. and I, he would ask about something and I would confirm it with an example, and poor Thomas would be left made aware that what he's doing is now O.C.D. Worse than that is the promise that therapy is going to be centered around breaking those patterns for a while. Quite honestly that gives ME anxiety. I know the pain of trying to change one of the "patterns" and I don't want him to have to feel that when he's just living his life, albeit in the

Exact

Right

Way,

No

Allowances

For

Mistakes.

So, the session was painful, apparently more for me than for Thomas but it was revealing and sadly so, we now know that Thomas is struggling with yet another issue. I feel bad for him. He has enough on his plate without anyone trying to dismantle his coping mechanisms. Now we're looking at 4 diagnosis, paranoid schizophrenia, anxiety, depression and O.C.D.

Geez! When does it end?

Poor Thomas.

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