Saturday, June 14, 2014

These Women Are My Heroes

I was blessed to get to spend a little time talking with a couple of my page members yesterday. Both of them mom's of sons with schizophrenia and both fighting from great distances to help their sons. I felt these mother's grief as they made frantic phone calls to people who might be able to help their sons.

One mom fights for guardianship over her son who doesn't speak to her because she has somehow been wrapped into his delusions and she can find no escape to be able to get through to him and help him. He is hospitalized hundreds of miles away from her refusing to sign release of information forms leaving her in the dark about what might be going on with the child she loves with her whole heart.

The other mom had received a personal message from her son living far from her telling her that he felt that dying was a better option than living through a new life, a new town, a new home, new doctors and changes beyond his control. She worried as she realized that all of the changes in her son's life lately had been the things that brought her son to the point he was at.

These mom's are separated from their boys and they are seemingly powerless to help them. They are afraid and feel alone in their fight to save their children. Unable to do for their son's what they really want to do, they stand alone in a room, cell phones in hand, trying to figure out what to do next.

It is these women, and others like them that are my heroes. Some of us are lucky enough to have our children with schizophrenia within reach where we can see for ourselves how they are doing but it is the women that I met yesterday who I feel are the real fighters on the front lines. Their courage and perseverance are qualities to be celebrated because they are the epitome of a proverbial mother bear giving everything they have to fight for their sons. Without a tangible piece of their sons to hold on to they somehow, still, feel their boys inside them and are trying to do the impossible as they fight for the lives of their sons.

There are so many of us out there in various situations, each of us alone in our fight because this illness manifests differently for everyone. My story, and the women I write about today and all of the rest of your stories are each unique, as it should be, since this illness picks and chooses it's destruction but just as I am celebrating the strength of the moms I met yesterday, we need to celebrate each and every one of us for what we do every day of our lives for our children with schizophrenia.

I write today, my brain scattered, because I cannot fathom the realities of all of our lives. I met two amazing women yesterday but there are so many more of us too living lives of uncertainty, fear, grief and defeat.

So today, I take a moment, to say a prayer, to send out healing energy, to light a candle, or to take a moment of silence for all of us moms who love our kids but somehow find ourselves unable to truly help our children living with this cruel illness.

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