Thursday, June 19, 2014

Oh Nice, Add More Meds

 

I was struck last week by yet another baffling response to Thomas about medication by his therapist. I'm trying very hard to understand the motives behind these not-so-veiled comments about medication and Thomas. I really thought we had cleared this all up between his therapist and I but apparently not.

Last Tuesday we saw Dr. N. and as I told you, Thomas chose to increase his buspar hoping that it would help his depression. This was a decision he came to all on his own and it made me happy because I had no say in it at all. I am trying--though it's a process and not an event--to let Thomas do more speaking for himself. Since his mind is clearing in some ways, I feel like he is capable of communicating his thoughts and feelings without me. Granted I nudge him here and there but I put it all on his plate to deal with once we are inside any doctor's office.

I had asked him before his therapy appointment last week if he felt he should tell his therapist about his delusions and I told him that I stood by my promise to him not to say anything myself and he said he wanted to tell him. This laid the groundwork for what happened once we got in the therapist's office.

The usual questioning began about all of his levels ("how is your paranoia, how is your anxiety, how much to you believe any delusions right now?" etc.) and then his therapist turned to me and asked me what I had to report. In turn I looked at Thomas and I tried to prompt him to speak up for himself. My only report was about his increased delusions and the increase in meds but I felt Thomas could speak for himself.

He admitted to his delusional thinking which rates as high as a 7 out of 10 sometimes to which his therapist said he "wasn't worried about that right now". This surprised me. Huh. So we're not worried about a level 7 delusion?
 
Okay.......
 
Huh. I guess so.
 
So then I prompted Thomas to explain about his meds. I started by telling his therapist that he had increased his buspar but then looked at Thomas and said, "you need to tell him about this" to which Thomas explained what he chose to do with his meds. Then came the aggravating, baffling part of the whole exchange. His therapist responded to Thomas with something like,

"Oh that's good, throw more medication at it."

This said in a disapproving way and was directed at Thomas. I furrowed my brow and bit my tongue and watched to see how Thomas received that back-handed comment. Luckily it appeared to go right by him. I'm not sure if Thomas necessarily picks up on sarcasm anywhere in his life so he may have missed that comment's intention. At any rate, this did not endear me to his therapist very much. What is with all of this negativity about medication anyway? I know he watched some videos and read a few things about some people in the U.K. who are opting out of medication but c'mon that's fine and dandy for them but clearly meds are working for Thomas now. He works 5 days a week with no anxiety or paranoia and right now HIS worst complaint is the depression (mine's the delusions). It seems to me that the meds are doing their job and frankly, doing it very well, thank you very much.

The thing is, I am not sure I am going to put up with too much more of this before I say something. In fact, it's a miracle I haven't said anything about it in a long time. That's just not like me. I will say this, though, the next time anything like that comes out of his therapist's mouth about meds, you can bank on me challenging that. Thomas wants to take his meds right now and if there ever comes a time that he doesn't want to anymore, I need his therapist on my side trying to encourage Thomas to take them, not working against me to reinforce Thomas' decision to try to cope with overwhelming symptoms on his own.

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