Sunday, June 15, 2014

Happy Father's Day

Today I celebrate my daddy and my husband both of whom have touched Thomas' life in ways I don't always have words for.

 My daddy not only loved me but he loved Thomas too. In the picture he is teaching Thomas how to fly a kite. When Thomas lost his biological dad in a nasty divorce it was my daddy who stepped up and became a father figure for my Thomas. I have so many pictures of the times the two of them spent together and it's so hard to choose just one. Having all of them, though, reminds me of how good my daddy was to my boy. In the last months of his life, when he was his sickest, he still asked about Thomas daily. He knew Thomas had schizophrenia and he tried so hard to understand the illness and never could but what he did do was love him no matter what. My daddy was a tough man of few words but when he'd ask about Thomas he'd get a faraway, worried look in his eyes and he'd mutter to himself that he hoped Thomas was doing ok. It is all he ever wanted for my boy. In his last months when I would tell him that Thomas' symptoms had gotten better or that he was doing good at his job he would say, "Good, good, I knew he would be ok." and I would see visible relief come over his face. My daddy loved my boy and for that--but not only that--I love my daddy. He was a good grandpa and a wonderful daddy. I love him and miss him so much.

 The other father I celebrate today is my husband Dan. In spite of the fact that he has struggled with things having to do with Thomas and most especially in the last few years when Thomas got sick, this man stuck around. He never once left us. Not for one single minute. He is not the most emotional man but how he measures himself is in how he is as a quintessential man. He provides for us, he keeps our cars running, he fills mine with gas every time I have to drive Thomas a long distance to Dr. N.'s. and so much more. He has also taught Thomas how to be a man by teaching him about cars, how to put stereo/TV/Electronic stuff together in the house and has taught him how to install Thomas' air conditioner in his room to name a few. Thomas considers him his dad even though Dan is not his biological dad and for me, that shows that we are a family even though we were cobbled together from many parts and places in time.

I also want to celebrate any of you dad's out there on my blog that I don't hear from (if you're out there). If you are here on my blog, it is because you care about your child with schizophrenia and you are trying to do your best for them. I celebrate you for that and wish you a special happy Father's Day.

This is a hard day for me because my daddy can't be with me today for our usual BBQ and (his favorite) angel food cake with cherry chocolate frosting but I am going to do what my friend Debbie here on my blog reminded me to do. I am celebrating my daddy's LIFE, what he gave to my sister and I as our daddy and what he gave to my boy as his grandpa.

I love both my men. My daddy Bryan and my husband Dan. They are good men.

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