Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Meds Day--Bringing Thomas Back

I was very proud of Thomas yesterday as he made active choices to help himself during his meds appointment with Dr. N. yesterday. I, again, can't help but sing Dr. N.'s praises as he listens to not only Thomas but me too and has an educated and experienced view on what Thomas is dealing with. He puts me at so much ease.

Thomas went in to see Dr. N. by... himself as usual yesterday and I wondered, as I always do, if he would tell Dr. N. the truth about what he's going through. I've had enough experience with him to know that either he forgets things or he's hiding things so I never know how a session will go. To my surprise and happiness, when I went in and sat down, I found Thomas with a smile. Dr. N. did what he always does and asked me how I felt Thomas was doing and if I had noticed any changes. I brought up the police thing and he nodded and then we went on to discuss that. Apparently though Thomas had in fact mentioned that to Dr. N. so he was on top of that right from the start. I can see now, after yesterday's appointment, that Thomas trusts Dr. N. and I love that!

After talking a while, Dr. N. came up with 3 different medication scenarios for Thomas. The choices were to leave things as they are, increase the clozaril, or increase the Latuda. I kept my mouth shut as I didn't really have an opinion on it and was more curious to see what Thomas decided. Dr. N. agrees that we decreased the clozaril too fast and that is why we were having these breakthrough symptoms that we have seen for the past couple of weeks. Naturally, because of that, something needed to be done. When the choices were put before Thomas I kept a straight face and barely breathed as I waited for just a split second before he piped up and said that he wants to increase the Latuda. Wow, really? I couldn't believe he was choosing that. Honestly I was leaning towards not doing anything right now and seeing how the next two weeks went but if Thomas wanted that then that was how it should be.

With the decision made, Dr. N. increased the Latuda quite a bit. He also left what little remained of the clozaril in place. I was surprised to hear him say that increasing the clozaril was an option though I was also happy about that too since I think it's the Latuda and the clozaril working in concert to keep Thomas on an even keel.

After the appointment Thomas and I went to Michael's (a craft store) for me to find some drawing/ sketching pencils and I was surprised when he came in with me. We wandered the store together and he was so kind and patient as I picked things up and put them back and tried to make decisions on what I wanted. When we finally got to the drawing supplies section while I looked at pencils, he found a book about how to draw Manga. He briefly flipped through it and then looked at the price and he got excited and he told me he had to check his bank account to see if he had enough to buy himself the book. When he discovered he did he grabbed the book and held it close.

In the car on the way home he flipped through it and we talked about drawing. I told him how I couldn't draw a face to save my life, that the eyes were always too big and things were out of proportion so he would look at sections of the book and find how to do those things and he'd tell me about them. It was a bonding moment unlike any we had had in a long time. We talked a lot about drawing and then the conversation tapered off as I drove. I thought to myself as I drove that it had been so long since I'd seen him draw Manga, let alone draw anything so I was delighted to see him showing an interest in that again.

In a quiet moment I reached over and squeezed his leg and I said,

"I'm happy to see you wanting to draw again. That was gone for a while."

He said,

"Yeah it's been a long time."

Then I said to him,

"You're coming back to me kiddo. I thought we'd lost you there for a while but I can see you're coming back now."

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