Saturday, April 26, 2014

He's Fine, He's Well, No Worries

I have to chuckle because I think (though I don't know how he'd know it's me) that Thomas' therapist reads my blog. I think this based on how he reacts to me when I'm there in the last 3 weeks and what he discusses with me and with Thomas. If that is the case then I am thrilled that he does because he will see how things are with Thomas and how I am ...handling it all. I haven't had the courage to ask him if he's read the blog because I'm not sure I want a full-on confirmation and if he doesn't then I'm not sure I want to point him this direction since I've been very vocal about how I feel he does his job. Regardless, yesterday went exactly like what I commented about in my blog.

I have made my feelings about desensitization therapy known here. I haven't been a fan of it but part of that is because I saw a Thomas that was really struggling and his therapist didn't and so he went forward with the therapy. Well, yesterday he had plans again to take Thomas to the police station again and I was completely straight-faced and tight-lipped about the whole thing. In fact, I have never said anything to him about how I feel about what he's doing which is why I think he reads this blog. At any rate, the plan was to take Thomas inside the police station. Again I said nothing, I just listened. Right off the top though his therapist was defending what he was doing and told me that he "wasn't being mean" and "wasn't trying to hurt Thomas". I just put my hands up in defense and said "I know" and left it at that. The fact that he was saying what he was saying made me think he has read what I wrote so he knew the truth about how I felt regardless of my reaction there.

Before leaving though his therapist put Thomas through the litany of questions that we have done since he got sick.

-rate anxiety 1-10
-rate anxiety about cameras at work 1-10
-rate paranoia 1-10
-rate depression 1-10
-questions about meds
-rate the believability of delusions from 0-100%

and others. The answers to all of the ratings were either 0 or 1 and the believability in his delusions he rated 10%. I shook my head and kind of didn't know what to think about all of that.

So he's fine?




Could this be? I mean just a week ago he was highly paranoid about the police and now he's a 0 or a 1 in anxiety and paranoia. It appears that that is the case so I kind of sat there in shock. How is that possible? Do you know how long it's been since he's been ok? Probably never.


The only thing about the conversation that seemed out of sorts was Thomas' growing irritation, agitation, defensiveness and wariness. I finally piped up and asked him to rate his irritation/agitation on a scale of 1 to 10. He was, of course, a 1.



So my part of the session ended and they headed off to the police station. Turns out...Thomas went in to the police station and according to him only reached a 2 in anxiety.



So afterwards I went over to my mom's and she asked how Thomas is doing on his new meds.

"Well mom, he's fine, he's well, no worries." and I just laughed. My mom was like "What??" and I just shook my head and laughed and said, "yeah...he's fine."

So that is where we are right now. I honestly don't know what to make of him being fine, being low on all of the scales. I've never known this kid before. A part of me wonders, though, what is he hiding? He was asked about one specific delusion, could there be others he's not talking about? I don't know. It's all just...


One thing's for sure, I am going to take it all and hold it close and hope and pray that it stays like this for a while.

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