Saturday, March 22, 2014

Rate The Therapist

I thought I would jump in here and write today because yesterday was a very rough day and somehow I managed to keep going through it all and I thought this morning that if I can get through that, forcing myself to make the right decisions for myself and my family, then I can be here writing for you guys. I'm hoping that jumping back in to writing will get me back on track somehow. As I said yesterday, I miss you guys and I know some of you want me to continue to tell Thomas' story and mine so here we go. What I want to share with you today is something funny that happened before Thomas' therapy on Thursday. Even through my sadness about my dad I am still laughing about this.

Here is what happened.

As many of you know, Thomas' therapist and I have had some rough times lately with him seemingly overstepping certain boundaries with his newfound beliefs or by passing along information that I personally don't think is appropriate. I have written a few rather angry emails to him and stood my ground both for Thomas and for my own beliefs about how I think Thomas' treatment should go. I took the risk of alienating the therapist with my strong views but me being me, I just couldn't let it go and so I didn't which made for a few tension filled therapy sessions.

Well, on Thursday as Thomas and I sat in the waiting room, the therapist's secretary walked by us with a paper in hand. She took it into the therapist's office and this is what I heard,

Secretary: "Should I pass this along?"

Therapist: "Yes, go ahead."

Secretary: says something I can't hear.

Therapist: "Well it is on the honor system but I say yes, pass it on."

Now, I generally listen to the exchanges in the office and they're mostly general business stuff so I didn't think much of this exchange either. Then the secretary came out of his office and walked up to me and thrust a piece of paper at me.

"Melanie, will you do this for us please?"

I took the paper and looked at it. I barely had time to look at it before she handed me a fast food gift card. I said "thank you" and handed it to Thomas along with the paper. He looked it over and handed it back. Then I started reading.

What it was is a request for me to go on to various web sites like Yelp and Health Grades and rate Thomas' therapist. The deal with the gift card was that they were compensating me for my time that it takes me to do all of that. I didn't feel right about the compensation because this is something I would happily do on my own.

Oh my gosh though I just sat there laughing so hard inside myself. Could it be? Could Thomas' therapist, who I had many times butted heads with, be giving me carte blanche to say my peace publicly about who he is and his skills as a therapist? Could he really be trusting me with this? The truth of the matter is though that I do like the guy, he has stuck by Thomas through everything and despite he and I having some run-ins, I think he's a good therapist that always has his heart in the right place for him, it's just that I don't agree with him all the time. So, here I was presented with the opportunity to say my peace and it is my plan today to do that.

I took the paper with me into his office when he called both Thomas and I in there. I wasn't going to miss an opportunity to lighten the mood about all of the tension from our emails and sessions. So, I waved the paper at him and I said--with a twinkle in my eye,

"I think this was awfully brave of you to give me, of all people, an opportunity to rate you publicly. After everything we've been through I would have thought you would want to shut me up."

He smiled at me and thanked me for agreeing to do it and I knew that he trusted me to put my opinion out there and not tear him to shreds.

Since I received that paper with all of those websites on which to rate his skills, I have actually felt a bit honored that I was asked to do it. When I think about it, we have a history, a long one, 6 years to be exact, and when it really mattered, and even when it didn't very much, he was and is a good man with nothing but the best of intentions towards Thomas and I.

So, I will be honored to write my reviews. I will say good things about the man who has gotten my son and even myself through some pretty terrible times and I will do it with grace and honesty because that's what he deserves.

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