Tuesday, March 04, 2014

No Title

I don't want to leave you guys hanging so I thought I would write a little something today.

It has been very hard without my daddy in my life. My sister arrived late last night and it made his death even more real because now there's another of us that is grieving. I sat by as she cried broken hearted tears and I felt terrible for her. She's been clear across the country since my daddy died and I know it was so hard for her not to be here. She left here just recently, in fact, the day before he died so she had had some final moments with him but then got home and had to turn around and get right back on a plane back to us under the most terrible of circumstances. It has been a long journey for her.

Today my mom, my sister and I go to the funeral home and pick up the things my daddy was wearing when he died. This is going to be so hard to do. Without his jewelry and clothes he will just be a man in a cold room, the shell of the man I love with my whole heart. That thought is a terrible one because all I want for him is to be back in his room in his fuzzy pants and cozy warm and asking me about my day. All of the things we need to do to say goodbye are so painful.

Mornings are hard for me.......

As for Thomas, he has therapy today. Last week before my daddy died we had moved his appointment up never knowing that the reason he might need it was to work through his grief. I am thankful he can go today and I pray that his therapist can offer him something to help him grieve.

He has done ok in the last couple of days and even went to work last night. He had to take his maximum dose of anti-anxiety meds but he bravely went to work. He is a strong young man and I am proud of him. My mom has been searching for an idea of something to give him of his grandpa's and finally settled on something amazing yesterday. All my life my dad wore this gold and black onyx ring with the family crest from his side of the family on it. He had worn it so that the gold was worn thin and now needs reinforcement. My mom will get it reinforced and will give it to Thomas as a gift. The reason that it is such a great gift is because it was something my daddy loved a great deal plus Thomas loves family history and to be able to wear the family crest on his finger will be something he will be able to cherish the rest of his life. I look forward to the day that my mom presents that to him. ♥

That's about all for me for now. I am tired and I have so many important things ahead of me today so I need to get myself out of this chair and go on with my day. I'll check back in again as soon as I can. Thank you all for bearing with me during this very sad time in mine and Thomas' life.

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