Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Never A Dull Moment

Today my post is going to be about my own health because I wanted to share this with you because you have been on this long journey with Thomas and I for so long and I know that some of you care about all aspects of my life.

I don't know if you remember but I told you (I think) 2 weeks ago that I had very bad pelvic pain. Well, I went and had a full pelvic ultrasound done. While I was in the little, low lit room with just one technician, she was busy typing things once she got to my left side. Within minutes another tech showed up and the two of them did things and spoke in quiet whispers while they worked. I tried to rationalize the second tech being there by saying to myself that she just happened to show up at a random moment or that maybe the machine was malfunctioning and she was there to help fix it. I didn't want to go to the bad place with her arrival.

Afterwards the original tech walked me out of the room and she said to me in a seemingly weird/sad way,

"Do you have someone here with you?"

I felt a foreboding because I had just been through what I went through with the two techs and then let myself think for just a second that something might not be right. I told her I had my mom and sister with me and she walked me all the way to their side. That didn't help my now growing anxiety about the second tech being in the room.

I was supposed to wait until this Thursday for the results but then yesterday I got a call. It was from a doctor in my GP's office. I normally see a nurse practicioner and speak with her so when the doctor called I was a bit uneasy. She matter of factly informed me that they found a lesion during my ultrasound but because of the way my organs lay in my body that they can't be sure whether the lesion is on my ovary or my bowel. Consequently they wanted me to go in right away for a full contrast (oral and IV contrast) pelvic CT scan so that they can be sure which organ the lesion is on. I set up all of my appointments with her and hung up the phone. I was sitting there with my mom and sister when the doctor called and based on my half of the conversation, my mom had broken down in tears. This kind of thing is not what she needed having just lost her husband.

You know what keeps running around in my head? The call wasn't to say that I was fine rather it was to say that there is definitely a lesion but they just don't know where it is. Either way, either organ, that's not the best news to receive. Either way, either organ, a lesion now exists. What it is I don't know but I am not happy it's there.

So, I go in tomorrow for my Pelvic CT complete with having to gag down the lovely chalky barium (I'm dreading that more than anything LOL) and I will get my results on Friday. It's probably nothing serious but the word "lesion" and "full contrast pelvic CT" are not words a person really wants to hear especially since I just lost my daddy and Thomas is not stable. One thing's for sure, in my life, there is never a dull moment. No sooner do we start to find a little joy in the day without my daddy and no sooner do I get Thomas to a therapeutic dose of his Latuda than this whole "lesion" thing pops up.

I can't help but think, if there is something wrong, I have my very own angel (my daddy) watching over me through it all. ♥

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