Saturday, March 15, 2014

My Angel In Heaven

After two weeks of scaring myself to death with worst case scenarios (thanks to Google LOL) I am happy to say that what is wrong with me isn't the worst case scenario after all. It turns out that what was causing me pain in my pelvic region was a cyst on my ovary. For educational purposes, the ovary is the size of an almond and in my case the one situated on the left side of the body is surrounded by the lower region of the bowels. When an ovary has an abnormality like a swollen cyst it will push on the surrounding organs (including the bladder) and cause a great deal of pain. Since there is no room for anything other than what's already there, when a cyst forms the body protests it by feeling pain. So, all of my pain was brought on by a cyst that formed on my left ovary which was found in my ultrasound. These sorts of things happen from time to time and the body just reabsorbs them but sometimes they're tenacious and the body has to work harder to rid itself of it. Such was my case however I am happy to report that my symptoms subsided and the clearing up of the cyst was reflected in my CT scan. Apparently this is a common thing for the body to do (form cysts) but sometimes they go awry. I am told that this could happen again and if it does, I will have to have my left ovary removed but luckily the surgery for that is laparoscopic and would be easy to handle. So, there you have it, I live to fight another day or in my case many days, weeks, months, and years into the future. I am back on my mission of getting the word out there about schizophrenia. :)

I titled this post "My Angel In Heaven" because since my dad has passed he has made his spirit known to me by sending little signals to me that he's around. Three times in the last few days a bird has come to me when I was sitting outside in the very early morning and sat on a branch in front of me and just stared at me. I choose to believe that was my daddy coming to tell me that he was watching over me during this scary time. I have seen many more signs of him but won't write about them here but ultimately I feel like he was watching over me and letting me know he is here even though he passed. I posted to my regular Facebook (quote) "My daddy's spirit is more alive now than it ever was in the last months of his life" and that pretty much says it all. I will love him for eternity and I am grateful that I have an angel by my side.

As for Thomas, he seems to be doing really well. He is on that pretty high dose of Latuda and it really seems to be doing the trick. I can hardly believe it since I had lost faith in medication since we started the clozaril. What I am seeing in Thomas is an improvement in his negative symptoms and he reported to my husband the other night, "I feel more alive than I have in a long time." That's saying a lot about how well the Latuda is working. I am cautiously optimistic though because with each increase in it he enjoyed a few really good days and then he would go back down hill again. I'm hoping this high of dose will stick with him for more than a few day or weeks. I'd like to see a year of remission but time will tell what we will be given as far as that goes.

Yesterday he went to pick up his schedule for work and got in the car and announced that he works 4 days next week. My mom was in the car with me and she and I both grew silent. 4 days. What happened to the conversation I had with Richard? Weren't we shooting for just 2 days and asking not to have 2 days in a row? As it stands, Thomas works Sunday and Monday and then Wednesday and Saturday. He is reluctant to go speak with Richard about cutting back his hours so I told him to go ahead and see if he can work the hours as they are. He is so anxious about dealing with these sorts of things, like talking to his manager, so since I won't make another visit there myself, it is on Thomas to speak up for himself. If he wants all of those days then so be it but if he needs to cut them back then I will encourage him to have them cut back. I will watch him closely but I am not happy about the hours. I hope that all goes well for him and that his improved symptoms from the Latuda will help him get through such a busy work week.

Wow! What a week this has been! I am calling it "good" and moving on. Life is still moving forward and there is much to look forward to and conquer. Fortunately I have my own good health with which to do that with. So, onward and upward!!!

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