Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Yes, I'm Pretty Sure I Love Dr. N.

After that appointment with Thomas' therapist last week and the whole debacle about meds, I came home and sent Dr. N. an email asking his opinion on the whole thing. I trust him to tell me the truth about what is right for Thomas with meds because he has attempted to be conservative so far. He seems to have hope for Thomas and right now I need that very badly so his opinion means the world to me. The following is his response to my email questioning him if Thomas needs meds and explaining what the therapist said:
"Studies suggest that antipsychotics are protective to brain cells in schizophrenia, and that people who suffer from it tend to do best in the long run if they find a successful treatment and stay on it. That being said, I do think that just having to put up with side-effects is not ideal, and as frustrating as it can be to try different medications, I have hope we will find something that works well and is better tolerated. I think for a therapist, seeing a person suffer so much from side-effects can be difficult, and his comment might have been well-intentioned.

Please, let me know if this clarifies your question about the meds. We'll work hard to find a treatment that works for him."

Do you see why I love him so much? :)

Not only does he have faith in finding something for Thomas but he also cares about Thomas and the side effects and he's diplomatic about Thomas' therapist which I surely was not at the time. I'm definitely going to keep this guy in our lives even if it means I have to sell a kidney to afford him.

As for Thomas' therapist, I wrote him another email explaining that I didn't feel he was practicing medicine but I passed along my blog post about that video he gave me to watch. I have heard nothing which doesn't surprise me but I would have liked to hear something. I guess I just want the waters to be calm when I walk in there on Thursday and I fear now that he'll stop including me in Thomas' sessions where it's needed. I feel justified in my anger and my response so I guess I will just have to bear the burden of his displeasure about the whole thing.

As a final note for today, I had a dream last night that I was in an interrogation room and someone was standing over me yelling,


In my dream I just couldn't get the words out and finally felt so scared of the interrogator that I quietly and with defeat in my voice said,

"Yes, my boy has schizophrenia."

You see, my dreams are often hard to separate from reality so I woke up this morning feeling like I had actually been forced to admit that. Obviously my subconscious thinks that I haven't come to terms with the fact that he has schizophrenia and it was forcing me to face it. I guess now I can't hide from it in my dreams anymore either.

At any rate, 3 cheers for Dr. N.! He's on his game, he cares and he communicates with me. I could not ask for more.

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