Thursday, January 23, 2014

Therapy Day

Today is a big day mostly for Thomas but for me too. I will be seeing my psychiatrist for the first time in 8 months to see if I can get my own meds straightened out. What's very cool is that her office is in the same office as Thomas' psychiatrist so we've got a little bit of a two for one going today. Thomas' appointment is at 1pm and he has regular therapy at 3pm and it's an hour's drive between the two so this will really test his anxiety. Quite frankly, for some reason, I am nervous about all of this myself so I have been working to get that under control so that it won't rub off on Thomas. I haven't told him how big the day is yet and I know he's hoping for a burger from his favorite place up there too so I'm hoping I can squeeze it all in. We shall see.

As for everyone's meds being adjusted, for me, I'm nervous about it. My meds have a tradeoff (well, I guess they all do) and I don't know how much I'm willing to trade off to feel better. For one, they help me sleep and probably 60% of the time help me get through my day with very few symptoms but they give me nightmares and make me sleep like the dead so I have back problems every single morning from sleeping in the same position all night. Not to mention the always fun weight gain (which I don't need at all) oh and let's not forget the raging hunger pains about 2pm that I have to fight like crazy not to indulge (because if I do I eat a lot and that adds to the weight gain). So, we shall see what happens. Maybe she has some other trick up her sleeve for me that might be worth entertaining.

Thomas' meds will be a different story. His blood tests are reflecting a drop in white blood cells but nothing to worry about yet. The pharmacist read me the warnings on the drug and it said that the first 6 months of the meds are when, if they're going to drop, they'll do it pretty rapidly. Knowing that, it's kind of looming over me that Thomas may not be able to stay on the Clozaril. If that's the case then I'm interested to see what's next. Since I don't have to worry as much anymore that this is a "drug of last resort", I have to wonder what could be done next for him. As for side effects he is dealing with excessive drooling at night and it's starting to get to him but we've worked out a plan of changing his pillowcase all the time so at least he's clean as much as possible. The other thing he's dealing with, and I feel horrible for him because of it, is constipation. I finally got him to agree to take a natural laxative to try to help the problem but as always he is wary of new pills. He's pretty miserable though so something has to be done. On top of that, his dosage increases tonight which won't help matters much so we've got to get a handle on this A.S.A.P.

So, we're on our way out in the next hour. It's an hour long drive through pretty country and luckily the snow stayed away so it should be a pretty nice drive. I'm going to let Thomas be the D.J. on the trip and he gets to pick the music so he brings his mp3 player and plays me songs. I'm really coming to love this because I get a little window inside of him. He plays a lot of songs filled with anger and talking about insanity to name a few. There's nothing like a song to bring out our true feelings and beliefs. It always opens up a conversation between the two of us and he gets a chance to talk about his feelings. I couldn't ask for a better situation.

I'll let you know tomorrow how things went with the meds and therapy. I'm praying for a good day today.

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