Saturday, November 23, 2013

From Thomas' Heart

Page member Debbie asked me after my earlier post what Thomas thought of my blog. It made me think a second because when I started the blog I told Thomas about it and he was ok with it but since then it has evolved and grown and I thought I would take Debbie's advice and check in with Thomas again about it.

I just sat down with him, just the two of us, and I asked
him what he knew about my blog. He said he really didn't know. I asked him if he wanted me to tell him about it and he agreed to listen.

I told him that I write this blog to help people better understand schizophrenia. I told him that I post relevant information about schizophrenia that I find around the internet but that I also tell his story and mine as his mom.

He smiled.

I told him that oftentimes I write about his struggles but that I don't give too many details because I want to protect his privacy and I gave him some examples of what I write about him.

He smiled.

I told him that I posted his "revolution" picture last night and told him what I said about it. I also told him what people had said about it.

He smiled.

I told him that this was a public forum and that a lot of people read this but that everyone is supportive of him and me. I gave the example that I had posted his graduation picture on the page and had told everyone about how he had been hospitalized just before that and that I had been scared that he might not make it to graduation. I told him about how support for him and excitement for his accomplishment exploded on the page.

He smiled.

I told him that because this is a public forum that there is a chance that someday someone might want to interview the two of us for a story and I explained to him what that would entail. My friend Naomi and her son Spencer had told their story to a national newspaper and that it had spread like wildfire and I explained to him what that meant for them as far as how there were critics but most often there was an outpouring of support. I told him that because I write what I write that if we were to sit down with somebody that they would already know a lot about our lives and that they would have questions. I asked him if he would be ok with that and he said yes and

He smiled.

I asked him if he had gotten any friend requests from strangers on Facebook and he said that he had but that he had rejected all of them. This is where his paranoia had kicked in. He doesn't want to be found on Facebook by strangers and is smart enough to know not to trust anybody he doesn't already know. I told him that I might send people I meet his direction but that I would always warn him ahead of time and it would be his choice to become their friends and he liked that and

He smiled.

So, there it is. From Thomas' heart to all of you. He is now very aware of what I am doing, he is healthy enough and clear-headed enough to comprehend the gravity of what I am doing with this blog and I gave him every chance to decide for me what I should or shouldn't do. He's very excited and very supportive.

As of right now, I am making the decision to move forward with who I've been and what I've said up to this point on this blog. Thomas and I's story is making a difference to so many people and I think I have handled the telling of our story with respect for Thomas and myself. I will check in with Thomas again in the future but I think he and I are now definitely on the same page and we are both excited about what is being done here to educate the public about what it's REALLY like to have schizophrenia and love someone with schizophrenia.

I love that boy with all of my heart. He is an amazing young man with a big heart and I couldn't be more proud of his bravery, not just about allowing me to blog about our lives but also to be facing this illness head on and continuing to move forward even when the worst that schizophrenia has to challenge him with is thrown at him.

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