Wednesday, October 23, 2013

He Survived. I Didn't

 First and foremost let me say that Thomas came out of his job yesterday after 3 1/2 hours and he was smiling. He reported that his anxiety level had dropped a great deal but was still there but he was looking forward to his job. He had gotten his uniform (which is just a t-shirt with the store logo on it) and he had gotten a name tag with "Thomas" written on it. I was a little surprised to see that since he prefers to go as "Tom" to all of his friends. He handed me his social security card with none of the previous anxiety about it and he told me his hours for his second day of work which will be Thursday. All in all I couldn't have asked for a better outcome for his own happiness and I am so happy for him that he has a job now.

There is more to the story about his first day that I am going to share. It is my point of view about his future. I don't want to throw a bucket of water on the celebration I'm sure you all feel now for him but I am going to write now as his mom, as a concerned mom.

He got his hours of work. He will work from 11:30pm to 5:00am. Yes, that is 11:30 at night till 5:30 in the morning. I won't mince my words here, I don't like this at all. Not at all. I know you all will have opinions about what I'm going to write next and I hope you'll post them in the comments section or message me privately because I am open to hearing what you have to say about this but the truth of the matter is, I just don't like this. Let me explain why.

First, Thomas has always needed routine. Whenever it has been upset in the slightest he is thrown into a tailspin. As a part time, graveyard shift worker he'll work a few nights and have a few nights off in between. It will be chaos and wreak havoc on the routine we have worked to set up for him.

Second, he takes his heaviest dose of anti-psychotics at night and they usually wipe him out for the rest of the night and I can't see how he's going to be able to work from what is currently AFTER his bedtime to right through the center of his core sleep.

Third, his paranoia is at it's highest at night, in the dark. Working on a loading dock in the dark of night just doesn't seem like the best idea for him and his psyche.

Fourth, I just flat out don't like this at all. I just don't think this is a good idea for his mental health and I am deeply worried about the effect these randomly scheduled, late hour shifts are going to have on him.

So, what I am doing about this is I am going to check in with both his therapist and his meds NP. I also currently have a call in to his job rehab specialist to let her know the hours the new job gave Thomas and I'm going to ask her some questions and get her advice. I want to be sure that I hear from everyone before I let my own worry take over the situation.

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