Monday, September 02, 2013

"Trapped"

I'm not sure I've mentioned it here before but Thomas has been fighting a "trapped" (his word) feeling. His behavior in those times is like that of a caged animal. He's anxious, he's a bit agitated and really mostly just miserable. He says he only feels that way when he's home which kills me because I am hating that it is in our house that he feels so uncomfortable. Myself and his doctors have been on the case trying to figure out why he feels that way and none of us can come up with anything. Honestly, a part of me is wondering if he is being taunted by voices or hallucinations that he denies having. Which doesn't mean anything because he's kept that from me in the past.

Then last night for some reason the word akathesia came to me. Akathesia is a syndrome characterized by unpleasant sensations of inner restlessness that manifests itself with an inability to sit still or remain motionless. It apparently, in severe cases, causes discomfort in the knees. Strange huh? Well, I went to Thomas with my new information and asked him if the feeling is in his knees along with the other things he has talked about and he said that it was a little bit. So since he was downstairs watching TV in the same room as the treadmill, I told him to walk on it and see if the feeling went away.

Lo and behold it seemed to work! He hobbled along at a slow pace and watched TV and when I went down to check on him, his lopsided smile that greeted me let me know that he was doing better. Maybe, just maybe, we're on to something here. I had tried treating it with some of his lorazepam first, thinking the trapped feeling was anxiety but all that did was make him feel a little better but mostly just sleepy and still trapped.

I'm calling his meds doc tomorrow and seeing what he can do. Apparently akathesia is a side effect of the antipsychotics which seems particularly unfair because he already deals with so much that he doesn't need feeling trapped thrown on the pile. I'm hoping something can help this because if Thomas isn't going to be working and he's not going to be on his feet somewhat alleviating this feeling for himself then he needs some sort of something to make this stop and decreasing the already not-fully-working antipsychotics is not an option in my opinion.

So, poor Thomas will have to wait a day or so in his cage, pacing and "trapped" until we can get something to help him. I'll say it again and I'll say it a thousand times in the future. Schizophrenia is a cruel illness and its treatments aren't so nice either.

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