Friday, September 13, 2013

Oops I Did It Again

Yesterday Thomas had both a meds appointment and a therapy appointment. As usual I came into the meds appointment and didn't keep my mouth shut. I'm starting to get ticked at the meds guy because--and I understand, but still--he doesn't seem to be taking Thomas' symptoms seriously enough. He says he doesn't want to "throw the kitchen sink of meds at him" but I think waiting and watching has run it's course. Everyone else in Thomas' life thinks he needs some more/different medications except for the meds guy!!!

Now, you know, because I've posted before, that I want Thomas to make his own decisions about what he puts in his body but I also know that he doesn't always remember how much he suffers and he is also so sweet and accommodating to authority figures so I think he just kind of lets things slide that shouldn't slide.

So, admittedly, I pushed for Thomas to be given an anti-depressant. Bear in mind that I am not running a one man show here where this is concerned. Thomas' therapist thinks he should be on an anti-depressant also. I actually wouldn't have spoken up at all if I didn't have the backing (and the 4 worrisome family sessions trying to sort out the myriad symptoms that Thomas has been dealing with lately that are concerning) from his therapist. This guy is a Ph.D. and he's been in the game a long time and while he doesn't hold an M.D., I still trust his judgment when it comes to meds.

There we sat in that meds appointment and his meds guy was doing everything to keep in the watch and wait mode and I was telling him that Thomas had been suicidal and his response, which is right and fair, was for Thomas to call/talk to someone and then go to the E.R. However, no matter what I said for a large part of the appointment about how Thomas has been clawing at the pit of depression trying to get out, he kept holding off. Then something I must have said stopped him and he directly asked Thomas if he wanted to take an anti-depressant and I could see the visible relief in Thomas when he said that yes he would definitely like to try them. I'm not personally crazy about the anti-psychotics but come on, an anti-depressant isn't going to sink the ship (unless he's bipolar which is possible). All we can do is try. Isn't it worth his life to give it a try??

So, this morning he started on Buproprion, a tried and true anti-depressant. We'll see how that goes. I also pushed the envelope on this whole "trapped" feeling Thomas fights which to me is more debilitating than the depression however meds guy wanted to "watch and wait" on that one too. He did, however, throw out on the table the possibility of medication to "calm his mind." He says there is stuff out there that will smooth things out. First we'll try the buproprion and then see what happens next.

 Now let's "watch and wait." Now let's give it some time. NOW that he's got something on board to help the ever-worsening depression I can sit back a little and feel better that there's something at work to alleviate the depression. But, I did it again, I didn't keep my mouth shut but I wasn't about to after what I have been witness to with Thomas lately. He happily took the new pill today and says he's ready for something to work so here's hoping we all get what we want. A little bit of light in the darkness.

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