Thursday, August 08, 2013

The Truth of My Life

I love that some of you stepped up yesterday and offered advice for me and helped me come up with ideas for making it easier to go away for a small trip with my husband. I agree with you all wholeheartedly that we need to get away but there are other factors that I slipped in, that I played down, that are factors much bigger that would make a weekend away difficult right now....

I have a father who had a major stroke a year ago. Caring for him is a full time job. My mom does that pretty much on her own but the situation is so volatile in that my father falls easily and is easily disoriented among other things and my mom isn't strong enough physically to lift him and the changes in her relationship with my dad, because of his stroke, make it hard on her and she needs me for support a lot of times. She would also need me in a split second if he were to fall and hurt himself or have another stroke. I can't leave her either. I also have a mother in law that is aging and suffering pretty badly right now and will need our help very very soon. Leaving Thomas is only part of the equation because there are extended family members that need us too. We are almost anchored here in a sea of illness and old age and work and life.

That was partly the point of my posting yesterday and why I was going to write more in the coming weeks. The collateral damage from family members who are struggling mentally and physically as well, take a toll on a marriage. I wasn't in any way trying to be an expert but I wanted to write about my experiences because I know that I am not the only one out there in this situation. Having Thomas with schizophrenia only worsens the fear of leaving just because of the nature of his illness.

I will keep writing and your suggestions are amazing and helpful and mean so much to me but if in the coming weeks I'm not taking a vacation it is because of factors not only related to Thomas but to extended family as well. My page is about schizophrenia and it's toll on a family so writing about my father's stroke or my mother in law's diabetes wasn't the focus, my point was to write about my number one reason for staying home, and that is Thomas, but keep in mind there are many more reasons to be here rather than anywhere else.

Thank you guys for your love.

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