Friday, June 28, 2013

What's Happening In Hollywood

I just dropped Thomas at work and I can't tell you enough what joy it brings me to do that. Yesterday he worked in the wood shop with "Doc" and he really seems to come away from that type of work with a sense of pride and accomplishment. Today he exited the car in a cheery mood and I tossed an "I love you kiddo!" out after him not expecting but certainly hoping for a response and he came back with "I love you too mom!". What a way to start the day!!!!

Guys, I can't believe this is happening! After what we have been through in the last year I really didn't think that Thomas would find peace for such a sustained period of time. My marker for how he's doing is how willingly he takes his meds (he's on top of it every day and has his own, albeit quirky, routine for taking it) and how the spot in his pill case for the nighttime anti-anxiety pill remains filled with that little white pill. This is so good. It's all so very very good.

I do have a bit of a "disease of hope" so to speak where I tend to overlook things that I probably should be paying attention to with him in favor of only seeing the good stuff but frankly I've come down with "the fever" and don't feel terribly motivated to treat the symptoms. I know it's not the most responsible thing but you know what?? We need a break. He needs a break from my constant vigilance, the concerned looks, the incessant questions and I need a break to B-R-E-A-T-H-E for just a little bit. I actually put away the volumes of books and articles and hospital records and "the binder", which I'll tell you about sometime, that have haunted me for months by sitting by my chair forever chastising me for not reading more RIGHT NOW...

"Hurry hurry hurry, learn it all NOW or the worst possible thing could happen if you don't."

That's what I've told myself every time I've looked at "the pile".

Yesterday I put it away. It is now all on a shelf in the bedroom, not too far out of awareness, but it's off of the table by my chair replaced by a gossip magazine, my tablet and a seafoam green journal with a glass vase full of every color Sharpie marker on the planet all in the hopes that I can reclaim my life for just a little while.

So, if I disappear for a day or so here and there it's because I'm beginning to reclaim my life. It's been more than a year since this all began. I've held my breath for over a year, I've lost touch with the real world and most important of all, I don't know what's happening in Hollywood right now with my favorite stars! LOL It's time to read about what REALLY matters.

No comments:

Post a Comment

My Most Popular Posts...

Follow my posts by Email:

Follow Me On Twitter