Monday, June 10, 2013

What If I Die?

It hit me this morning as I spoke with my husband (Thomas's step-dad) about his life insurance that I have nothing to leave Thomas if I die. I have very little to my name and if I die, much of the personal marital property goes to my husband. Herein lies the problem.

My husband is very sweet, he's very good to me, he's stuck with me and Thomas through thick and thin but if I were
gone, he would be too and that would leave Thomas with no one to care for him and support him in the times that he needs it. It's not that he doesn't care about Thomas, it's just that we're a package deal and if I'm gone then he would be gone from everyone's (my family and Thomas's) life. This is a very hard reality to face but it's one that hit me square between the eyes this morning as we talked about his life insurance.

Before Thomas got sick, my thoughts about his future were not about providing for everything to maintain his life because he would have been capable of going to college and getting a well paying job and eventually having a wife and family. All of those things are now up in the air now that he's sick.

What do I have to leave him to provide for his future?

Who will be there for him in the middle of the night when the monsters of the illness engulf him and he's too terrified to get to the hospital?
Who will visit him in the hospital?
Who will make sure he's not so weighed down with medications that he doesn't know which end is up?
Who will make sure he doesn't end up warehoused somewhere with no one to visit him, hug him, and love him?
Who will remind him to take his meds or eat healthy or shower or brush his teeth or go to school or work or whatever?
And what if, God forbid, he just ends up on the street and there's no one to bring him in out of the cold or heat and make sure he's clothed and fed and loved?

Up until today I have never thought about what it means to take care of Thomas if I'm not here. I have so much to think about now. I know I'm not alone, I know others of you out there face similar issues but if you're like me and you haven't thought of this or you have but are still working to get things in place then know that I have now joined you on your journey. And if anybody has any suggestions or things I need to think about and you don't want to post them publicly then please, I BEG YOU, message me privately here on the page or over on my regular Facebook and let me know what I might need to consider.

Without me, Thomas has no one now. He's an adult. No one is legally responsible for him and while there's family around the U.S., I can't count on anyone. My mom said she'd be here but she's aging and I can't expect her to take on his care too much as she ages. Wow! What a wake up call.

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