Sunday, June 23, 2013

These Are The Good Days

I've got to say that life around here with Thomas is becoming very uninteresting. Back during his recent hospitalization and everything leading up to it, through all of the bad news about how he'll never change, he'll never get well, how I better "brace myself" for the worst, what I couldn't see while I was in the middle of it all is that there truly will be good days too. I had gotten the speech countless times that there will be good and bad days and all my broken heart saw were all of the bad days piling up one on top of another even though the good days were creeping in slowly unnoticed. As my world started to slow its chaotic, relentless spinning, all I could see was the big question "how long till the next episode?"

Today I am taking stock of my life, I mean REALLY taking stock, and I see now that lately my heart has beat steadily in time with the calm descending upon this house. If I step out of my life, out from behind the still healing wounds I bear from this last fight through hell with Thomas, I do see that things are ok. These are the good days that they talked about and my focus now for a while is going to be on each moment of peace. I'm not going to wait for the next storm, the other shoe to drop, or any other negativity to reach in and grab hold, instead I'm going to revel in the moments we are given now and be thankful for what is now before us.

May we find peace, may you all find peace in the good moments, whether they are for just a couple minutes in time, a smile, a fearless moment, or a brave stint out beyond the walls of your safe place. My love and thoughts are with you.

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