Thursday, May 09, 2013

When I see you smile

Yesterday when my son came crashing in the front door, said a bright, cheery hello, grabbed a sugar cookie and his laptop and went downstairs, I couldn't have been happier in that moment. When he came upstairs later and asked me for a hug and told me how much he loved me, I thought I had died and gone to heaven.

You see, for weeks he has avoided the basement after school (
I have pondered what was down there--in his head--that was scaring him) and instead he has chosen to sit upstairs in the same room as me. I couldn't have paid him to go downstairs. For most of the last weeks, and was at it's worst in the last couple weeks, he's been in a depressed, sullen, angry mood. As he sank further into the abyss, I found myself joining him.

Make no mistake though, I haven't showed him that because I feel like one of us has to hold the light in the darkness that is enveloping us. Then yesterday afternoon he came home with a light of his own--a beaming smile--and all was right with the world.

As the song says:

"When I see you smile, I can face the world."

I can now face my day today. I am recharged and charging forward yet again. His smile is gone this morning for reasons I may never get to know, but because of that "crashing in the door, smiling, sugar cookie eating, disappearing into the basement" kid, I have a brightened lantern with which to light the way into this day for the both of us.

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